You know how those days leading into a trip away are chaos, you cram in so much that you’re lucky if you remember to eat and there are so many lists and things to do spinning around in your head that if you were to have a brain scan the doctor would probably be surprised to find something that resembled a hamster wheel where your brain should be
Well, knowing that I’m just about to clock up 1800kms in the next week I’ve had one of those times.
I’ve stocked the freezer, made arrangements for the kids to go off in their various directions and even managed a bag of (bribery) lollies in the pantry for a little friday night party (because it’s FUN when mum is away, right).
I’ve scheduled the Hootsuite, tried to make sure there are enough interesting things to read on my website, washed clothes, tidied the pantry so things can be found and even this morning ran a dye through my hair.
And then there are those last moments – the ones when you realise at some point the bag must be packed and you must get out of the door and into the car.
These are the moments when you realise that you’re actually going away, when the hamster wheel freezes mid cycle and if you’re not careful the dread of guilt, the voices ‘bad, bad, neglectful mother’ can set in and when you wonder if it’s possible to just not go this time. Are you with me?
Not even the fact that I know they have a very capable dad and nan as backup lady with them can console that mum guilt when it’s in full swing.
When it’s a business trip it’s hard but at least there’s a viable reason “I have to, it’s work – right”
But when you’re doing the UNTHINKABLE – like I am this weekend – A weekend away with girlfriends, a weekend of laughing, eating, bushwalking and remembering that we are human beings as well as mums and employees or business owners IT’S TOUGH.
My child reminded me of how selfish I am this morning as she sat at the breakfast bench this morning head on the table for 15 minutes, then she moved to the floor for a further 15, at that point I had to walk away, it wasn’t productive anymore. She tried to miss the bus but the lovely driver patiently waited and she realised it wasn’t going to happen today. I didn’t put my glasses on so I couldn’t see her sad face as she drove off down the road (and through experience I know that THAT face only lasts as long as I can see it).
I give me about 250kms down the road and the guilt will wash off and I’ll tip over into enjoy, rest and feed my soul time.
Now, my only challenge – to step away from the computer and get to it…
HAPPY WEEKEND x
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