Just this morning I spent yet another 25 minutes coaxing a daughter out from under the doona as the bus arrival time drew closer, and closer. Morning times are stressful enough, I had no idea what the problem was – the wrong uniform? The wrong sandwich? I just knew that if she didn’t move soon I would miss my trip to the gym – my moment of sanity in an otherwise chaotic life.
I knew it was time to stop and talk.
Turns out, yet again, the topic of bullying was raising it’s ugly head in my household. Bullying among girls.
I told my beautiful girl all of the usual things – ignore it, tell the teacher, move away, tell her to mind her own business. I told her that if it continued I would make a trip into the school and have yet another conversation about the topic of bullying and what could be done. And, of course I beat myself up for being a working mum and not at canteen, and anything else I could think about to claim as guilt. But most of all my heart ached for my little being.
She went off happily enough in the end. She’d been heard, we had a strategy in place.
But as she walked up that long set of stairs to the school yard I thought about girls, women, and bullying and why the hell we do it to each other. I thought about how horrid it is to feel judged by fellow females, and how, as sensitive creatures a sideways glance combined with the wrong eyebrow formation can create a whole lot of trouble.
I thought about how sad it is that we (well, some of we) can bed other women’s husbands, that we can instigate riots with nothing to gain but our egos, that we can bitch and moan about what someone else has or hasn’t done and, most painful of all, that we can maliciously gossip.
Quite frankly, I’m calling war on all of this behaviour.
I, hereby, will not tolerate in my life ANY of this behaviour in my life. I will not spend time with women who conduct themselves in this manner and I will not, ever stoop to this level. Big call eh !
As a woman who speaks her mind, label that a ‘strong woman’ if you like, I’d also like to note that chances are at some point I will offend you. I’d also like to note that hurting you, or anyone else is never my intention. Sometimes I’m too busy or lost in thought to even notice that I’ve done something wrong. Sometimes I’m careless, and sometimes I’m just exploring ideas.
So, if, by chance I have accidentally said or done something to offend you I would like to offer you the opportunity to pull me up – to have your say – to let me know that what I’ve said bites. And from there I can learn to be a better human.
And I wholeheartedly encourage you to make the same offer to those around you, and see what happens when, rather than meeting criticism with anger, it’s met with understanding and compassion.
Ladies, the world is too big, to troubled to turn on one another, we are the nurturers, so let’s just nurture. Let’s embrace our faults, our shortcomings and support one another as we rise, together.
Whew – glad I got that one out, have a great day x
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