Don’t fluff up the situation

Being a working mum has a tendency to be BBBBUUUUUSSSSSSYYYYYYY.  I remember thinking when my kids were younger that it would be oh so much easier once they went to school.  But actually (sorry mums of little little ones) it’s NOT.

IF you can retain your sanity through the hour or so of morning rush, inevitable lost shoes, bad hair or forgotten homework and ensuing tantrums…

IF you can thrust yourself into your own working day as close to possible as the bus leaves or school bell rings…

Then you’ll have about six hours of power in which you can jam in the max. amount of work humanly possible.  Stuff having time to ‘get into the zone’ – if you wait for that to happen the bus will be roaring back up the road.

And in that six hours, if you have a home office like myself you must resist at all cost the temptation to do a load of washing, clean ANYTHING, tidy or anything else that doesn’t look like 100% concentration on the real job at hand.

You need to maintain your nerves of steel as every critical voice you’ve ever whispers in your ear the mantra “bad BAD mother”, “your career is more important than the happiness of your family”, “who would let their family live in such squalor”, “in my day mums put their children first” – or, if you’re lucky the more sneaky voices “just one load of washing, that hardly takes any time”, “if I prepare dinner now it will be out of the way”

And before you know it, the bus does roar up the hill (or if you’re particularly under the thumb of the Supermum myth you are in the car doing the pick up) – and the hurdy gurdy of kid wrangling recommences with the sport, groups or whatever else one considers essential to nurture the little dahlings into rounded adults.

Today you’ll notice a tone of bitterness in my message but as I write I smile.

As I thrust my business out in a new direction life has been exceptionally chaotic.  I notice that when I’m busy, and OK a big grumpy things can easily go to pot.  Last night my darling middle child staged a protest over dinner when I wouldn’t let the dog into the house because she was afraid of the approaching storm.  The dog, actually would have been quite fine but the child decided that she wasn’t eating dinner, she was going to sit outside with the dog because it “wasn’t fair”.

I did what any rational, exhausted, loving mother would do.  I sat at the dinner table and cried.

It was quite a shock to me that I’d reached tipping point.  Even bigger shock that my reaction actually calmed the situation and the kids were able to gain perspective on the impact of their actions in the world and to consider who that potentially effects someone else.

I could then explain to them that I’m tired, I’m trying something new in my business and it frightens me and I still love them and always will but I need them to be a bit more helpful and consider me as a human as well as a mum.

On reflection, the kids know that I work and they know how much I love my work, as far as they’re concerned I’m having a big party every day when they are at school so of course I’d be waiting with open arms to serve their every whim when they get off the bus.  It hadn’t occurred to me that it’s up to ME to teach them what my needs are too.

So this morning as I packed the lunchboxes a fight started brewing between the kids.  I warned “don’t fight, PLEASE” and my youngest said “oh yeah, that” and moved away from the situation.

And at 830am I can put up my first post of the day, inspired by the most important people in my life.  Love you family x

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