Expressing your stuff

angry kid

So, how do you let the world know that you have something to tell it?

What do you do when you’re reached the final straw, when you’ve had enough and you are just about to explode (or implode)?

Are you a bottle it up kinda gal who waits for something like a stubbed toe to let out a howl?

Or do you get it all out quickly screaming from the top of your lungs to all and sundry?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. We all have our own wee ways of expressing what we need (or not) and of course it’s influenced by so many life experiences and rules.

I wonder, are you aware of your rules around expressing your needs? For that matter, when was the last time you even thought about the things you need?

So anyway, I’ve been keenly observing how my children express their needs. It’s very difficult to understand WHY or HOW three individuals who come from the same gene pool and have had relatively similar environments to be raised in could have such incredibly different methodologies.

Call it the pecking order, check out their star signs (PS 2 were born on the same day 5 years apart), call it whatever you will, it’s utterly incredible how different the modes of the 3 are.

My Eldest uses the leaky tap method – quietly and patiently, yet eventually overwhelmingly irritating ongoing trickle of request for the same, simple thing. In the last 2 weeks it’s been registration for his sport. The morning starts with the question “so mum, do you think we could do it today” the evening ends with “so mum, did you do it?” and repeat until it’s done. Quite effective really and because the kid needs for very little it’s easy to give in.

The other two I was closely observing in the car on the way home this evening. It was getting late, they were getting hungry and they’d just used their last inch of nearly end of the term energy for sport. Their techniques for expressing need became immediately apparent when the youngest punched her sister and the sister cried.

This continued as I drove 110kmph down the highway pleading some kind of mum jargon until a threat sprung to mind which garnished an apology puncher to punchee.

“I’m sorry

Poo head”

She lovingly shared

More tears

I screamed the car over to the roadside, separated them and made my way home pleased with myself that it was a scientific analysis of human behaviour and I didn’t have to get emotionally involved (yeah right – but that’s a story for another day).

Driving home I tuned out and thought about how the way that we express our needs shapes our life pathway? Do people who are more aggressive earn a healthy respect – or do people just avoid them? Do the cryers have more hugs and friendships or do they receive a lot of eye rolling

Do the naggers eventually give up and do it themselves?

Think about how you express your needs – what is and what isn’t being met? Chances are the what ISN’T is glaringly obvious but see if you can also take some time to honour what IS being met for you, you might be surprised…

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